LONG TIME NO POST!!!!!!! i'm alive... and well... for the most part.... >_>
January 16th, 2010,
i smoked out two friends for the first time. it wasnt the most pleasnt experience, but i have a good story to tell my kids (if i ever have any) not to do drugs.
ever since then, those two girls... (who we will call Hallie and Janice)... have been up my arse about when they can smoke with me again, and all kinds of other crap. they've prettttty much just been a major fucking nuicense in my life ever since then. yesterday, i bought weed for Hallie (with her money, and rolled it for her), and she, for some reason, belives i ripped her off.
1. YOU ARENT GOING TO GET MUCH FOR FIVE FUCKING DOLLARS!!! (a penner ass blunt, or 2 below average joints... or 1 very nice sized joint...)
2: DONT QUESTION MY HONESTY!!!!! like scarface said, "all i have are my balls, and my word, and i ain't breakin' either of em for nobody"
maybe i wouldnt be going through this if she saw me break it down and roll it up... or she knew how to roll a joint/blunt on her own.... just saying.... >_>
and Janice... she likes me... and ever since the bowling ally incident (i did mention we smoked at a bowling ally right?... no?... well... thats where it was...) shes been acting weird, i walk up to her and say hi, she just ignores me... i dont know what her freakin problem is. AND GET THIS, SHE SAYS IM THE ONE ACTING DIFFERENT!!!
thats fucking rich... ___________________________
and nows the part where i talk about how this started, and why didnt i say "no"?
i stoped smoking around early/mid october (somewhere inbetween 8th and 15th) last year. around the same time, i started talking to these girls, and how they wanted to smoke... if only they had gotten to me a week or so before then.... anyways, time goes on, they keep bugging me about it, but it wasnt that bad. christmas break comes, and im completely sober (not counting the alcohol i had during christmas, cousin's birthday, new years, and shitload of painkillers and pepto when i got stomach virus meer hours after previously mentioned birthday party), everything was going great, school started up, and stuff was even better, first few weeks of school i was attentive, i got my work done. i checked my grades with the teachers, i had three A's and a B.... thats freakin honor roll status... (if only i had that 4.0 gpa)... anyway, shit was good. then the girls come around again, and i finaly tell em ill get em some smoke. they were happy, i was happy... untill problems arose.... i found out, Janice... she has retardedly strict parents. she has to come directly home after school, finish homwork and cant leave till its done, and if she actually can leave, she has to be home by six o'clock, and in bed by eight..... (like they seriously treat her like shes 8).... so we have to figure out when and where they can smoke... school hosted a bowling party for our grade.... peechy keen, 10pm to 1am, plenty of time to smoke, be high, come down, and maybe even bowl a bit.
BOY WAS I MISTAKEN!
i go to the ally, they are there, but there was a problem with me getting their stuff... ended up having to leave, (walking mind you) to go get it for them... finaly my contact comes through (when im like half way to where i was walking to) and they bring me my order...
i rolled it, and everything gave it to em... and was going to be on my way... i didnt even want to smoke.... but somehow... i was convinced.... (it really wasnt that hard for me to be convinced.... v.v)
shitty experiences while high.... im not even going to write about it... cause i cant really remember..... all i remember.... was a zebra, cool ranch doritos.... neon lights, a cute girl, who i think im slightly in love with... who i could have talked to, and bowled with, if it wasnt for me being fucking stoned out of my mind.... and an unquenchable thurst for milk.... ._.? ___________________________________
ever since then, girls have been fucking with my head, grades are slipping, shits just all bad...
i swear to (insert deity here) that im going to snap, and kill someone, (probably one of them) if they dont stop fucking with me...
I seriously need a change of scenery.... maybe a new school?... new town?... new planet?...
either way.... i have to deal with this somehow... hopefully befor i'm put in a padded room...
(p.s.... Kat if you read this.... i know you are dissapointed [possibly pissed].... i am too.... and i'm sorry... T____T)
creative, smart, idealist, loner, attracted to sad things, disorganized, avoidant, can be overwhelmed by unpleasant feelings, prone to quitting, prone to feelings of loneliness, ambivalent of the rules, solitary, daydreams about people to maintain a sense of closeness, focus on fantasies, acts without planning, low self confidence, emotionally moody, can feel defective, prone to lateness, likes esoteric things, wounded at the core, feels shame, frequently losing things, prone to sadness, prone to dreaming about a rescuer, disorderly, observer, easily distracted, does not like crowds, can act without thinking, private, can feel uncomfortable around others, familiar with the darkside, hermit, more likely to support marijuana legalization, can sabotage self, likes the rain, sometimes can't control fearful thoughts, prone to crying, prone to regret, attracted to the counter culture, can be submissive, prone to feeling discouraged, frequently second guesses self, not punctual, not always prepared, can feel victimized, prone to confusion, prone to irresponsibility, can be pessimistic...
just a loveable guy... ^_^